Now and Then

Dearest brothers and sisters:

What a wonderful week I enjoyed with you - and what a joy it has been to listen to your reflections on the Sunday morning after our trip and on that Wednesday night in Lent when we viewed the awesome John-John video. I have waited to post a message, in part because Kerry and I are always talking, and it has been good and important to listen - and, in part, because I was struggling what to say and I thought more time might bring more wisdom and insight. Then again, it is easy in the busyness of life at the church and home to put things off.

I think the reason Kerry and I have enjoyed being part of workcamps all these years - whether with youth or adults - is that these weeks can give us a unique glimpse of the Kingdom of God. Certainly reviewing your blogs only confirms this. Think about it. In Mississippi, we experienced truly significant work in that we knew that our sweat and labor were contributing to the good of others. We worked hard, but we also ate well, and had time for fun with each other. Worship and prayer were central to our time together. We gave to others - but received even more from those we served. Our priorities seemed rightly re-ordered during the week, and we saw God at work throughout the week. And we were a diverse community, bound together by Christ and our common work. Many of us were strangers to each other at the beginning of the week - but not at the end. We were of all ages, abilities, temperaments, opinions, and gifts - but one body.

Paul Tillich put it well: "We want only to show you something we have seen and to tell you something we have heard ... that here and there in the world and now and then in ourselves is a New Creation." Our week together in Mississippi was one of those "here and there," "now and then" Kingdom of God moments for most, if not all, of us I suspect.

Thank you to all of you - and to all of the friends we left behind in Mississippi - and thanks be to God!

Grace and peace,
Carter

First day of Spring

It’s been nearly a month since we returned from our mission trip to Mississippi. In some ways it seems so long ago, but the reasons of why we were sent are just now becoming clear to me.

Let me see if I can explain,

I think I can safely say that everyone was impacted by what we saw, who we met, and what we did. Each of us has had time to share and recount our time on the Gulf Coast; an experience mindfully placed on the nearside of our memories. We where gifted a time to remove ourselves from the day to day and draw near to the presence of God... Through him we were (and continue to be) refreshed, nourished, and allowed to growin faith.

I know now that there were flowers of faith that blossomed in Mississippi, but unlike the flowers of spring, flowers of faith do not wither, they grow into a magnificent garden resplendent in the glory of God.

There is no doubt that God blessed us with this opportunity to serve and it's equally evident that God sent us so that our faith would grow!


Through the power of God, let’s keep growing
Happy spring!
Gary

My 2 Cents Worth...

I have heard of being called by God to do His works, but I had never knowingly experienced it until now.

For months I had heard the rumbling of this Mission trip to Mississippi. I had always thought in the back of my mind that I would really like to go on a mission trip - some day. As a nurse I'd kind of thought a nice medical mission trip would be the direction I would head. God had other plans for me this February.

I had worked the night shift and had stopped by church to pick up the Super Bowl Sunday hoagies I had ordered as my "contribution" to the mission trip. I ran into Carter and felt a little guilty about not staying for the 8 am service even though I had been up all night. So I stayed. Once again the subject of the Mission trip to Mississippi was mentioned and that gentle nagging in the back of my mind became a very obvious push. I found myself asking Carter if there might still be room on the trip ( now only 1 week away) for one more worker. He didn't say no. I came home and looked on line...There were still tickets on the flight. A neighbor whose daughter was of babysitting age was driving by. The daughter was able to babysit in the afternoons while I would be gone. Another neighbor called... Oh yeah, by the way can you take the dog next week? "Sure" was the reply. I called Carter to verify that I wouldn't be an imposition. "No, and by the way the mission committee will pay for part of your airfare." Carter knew that finances were a concern and that I was looking for a new job because I wasn't getting enough time at the old one. I received a call about a new job just after getting off of the phone with him. They called for a second interview!!
So before I knew it, I had a flight reservation, the kids and the dog were taken care of and all I had to do was pack!
The snow came and the Phillips and the Wrigleys picked me up to go to the airport together. We were to spend the night before the trip at the hotel so we'd be there ready to go if the flight took off. That turned in to two nights due to the snow. In the midst of that came the opportunity to get to know them and I adopted them as family. I now had additional "parents" in Marlene and Al and a new "aunt & uncle" in the Phillips!
Monday came and we were finally off to Mississippi where I was lucky to pick up a whole bunch of family members. A cousin Kurt, and a bunch of brothers and sisters in Christ. For the first time since I joined this church I really felt like I was truly a part of it.
As you have heard our trip was a life changing experience for all of us. I was prepared to go and give it all I had. What I was unprepared for is what I received. What a blessing it was to be a part of it all.
Susan told us that a big part of our mission there was not only to help with the physical labor of it all but to minister to the souls of the people we encountered there. Once she reassured us that no one expected us to "fix" all of their problems that made it easier to listen. Before I knew it we were listening to Magdy Rivera's story. Another day she shared with me that this hurricane was just another in the recent painful events she had had to endure in her life. She opened her heart to me about some things that had taken place in her personal life as well. We cried together because some of these were the very things I had thought I was escaping for a week by being there.
One of the most touching things of all was the birth of three puppies one of her poodle's had while we were there. What a joy to see new life come to this place where so much had been lost.

You have heard from others on this trip about the work that was done and the devastation that we saw while we were there and the indominatable spirit of those we encountered. Still one of the greatest joys for me was the bonds that were made with those of you who allowed me to be a part of that group and to feel the undoubtable call of God to do something that mattered with the week that I had no work to do at PMMC. Thanks be to God and all of you! And by the way I started my new job with Bryn Mawr Hospital this week. I am thankful for that as well.

Photos on Snapfish

By now, you should all have received an invitation from Snapfish to view the photos from our week. I've posted about 2/3 of the 975 that we have.

The invitation letter will give you a link that you can follow to see the albums. Or, you can simply click on the link above (the title of this post). You may order prints of any one of these pictures.

If you have not received an invitation, let me know, and i'll fix it.

As an aside, I noticed that when I created my Snapfish account to which I uploaded all of the pictures, I was rewarded with 20 free prints, just for creating the account and uploading some pictures. You do not need a Snapfish account to view the photos, but you may wish to create one and upload some pictures, simply because you'll get 20 free prints when you do so. I don't honestly know if the 20 free ones must be applied to your own uploads, or if you could use them on the shared pictures from workcamp.

Obtaining Copies of the Video

First, I'd like to say thanks for all the kind words you have all given with respect to the video. It was truly our pleasure (I think I safely speak for John here) to make this. I'm quite sure that the effect it hopefully had on you when you saw it, was exactly the same (if not more) for us as we made it. And we lived those feelings every night for the last several weeks.

Whenever you create anything, especially art, you hope that the intended audience/consumer "gets it", or at least gets something out of it that is meaningful to them, because for sure it is meaningful to the creator. For me, this is not so much a creation as an integration of everybody's experiences from that week. John and I had the enviable position of being the priveledged persons entrusted with that integration. God guided us, on your behalf, of that I am certain.

Also, I'd like to again reiterate my personal thanks to John who, whether he admits it or not, did at least as much work as I did. Plus, he was indeed responsible for the Jaws segment, which is the highlight of the whole thing. As well, I have to thank Bill Campbell who is the originator of the whole concept, and from whom I shamelessly stole 2 big parts of this presentation:

• The format/template
• The Google Earth segments

I know we spoke to a lot of you who wish to get copies. We are happy to give out as many copies as we possibly can. Here is the preferred method of obtaining one:

1. Get yourself a blank VHS tape, or DVD (either DVD-R, or DVD+R....NOT R/W) and write your name on it
2. Give this blank media to either me, John Livezey, or Peggy
3. As we are able, we'll copy the movie onto your media and get it back to you. There will probably be some delay, simply due to the processing time. I'll be able to do at most 1 DVD per night. John is probably in about the same boat. I'll apologize up front for that.

Another method is for you to burn your own copy, if you have the ability. For that I will lend out a master copy, or you can get a copy from someone else, from which you can make your own copy.

Here's a disclaimer about DVD's:

DVD burning for the intention of watching on your home theater, is a hit or miss proposition. What I mean is that when I burn a DVD movie on my computer, it may or may not work on my DVD player with my TV. Fundamentally, it has to do with the evolving, and somewhat ambiguous, technical format of the DVD specificaion. There are no guidelines that we can give you as to which type of media to buy to give you a better chance. It's reasonably safe to say that if your DVD player is less than 2 years old, there's a great chance it'll work just fine. If your copy doesn't work, we'll try it again.

Thoughts on Mississippi - Marcia Zeigler

Thoughts on Mississippi

I sat down on Sunday to write some thoughts on our trip but then I read Jessica’s eloquent letter to Mrs. Swearingen and somehow I just couldn’t compete with that so I will now try again.

It has been over two weeks now since we have returned from our mission trip. I guess my best description of how I have felt these past two weeks is unsettled. It has been very hard to fall back into a routine. I also at first experienced the extreme exhaustion as many have mentioned. It made me think of the people affected by Katrina and question how they even manage to get out of bed each day. I know in speaking with Cindy (Mrs. Swearingen’s daughter) that she said she would love to have one day to forget and just relax, but she was so afraid that then she would want another day and another. And there is just too much to do.

I guess a major frustration since returning is trying to make others understand the severity of things in the South. So many say “wow that must have been something” but they don’t truly understand. They are more interested in car repairs, hassles at work, broken nails and everyday life. I guess the same life so many of us led before February 12. But now those things just seem so trivial. Tom is right when he says that although we had an extremely successful week it is just a pinpoint of what needs to be done. It is difficult each day now to think of all the people we met and not constantly wonder what progress they have made, whether others have continued to give them hope. I do feel so fortunate to have shared this experience with four members of my family. I would imagine it could be frustrating to have gone alone and to have to explain to even closest family members.

I spent my entire 4 days at the Swearingen home. Although I thought about moving around to other locations as many of you know I have a real fondness for older adults. Tom told me that Sunday that I was really going to like where we would be on Monday. And then he told me Mrs. Swearingen was deaf. I love to hear the stories that seniors tell. We have a tendency to often make them feel that they don’t matter, when truly they are a wealth of knowledge, history and fascinating tales. I was frustrated to think that I wasn’t going to be able to communicate with Mrs. S. I didn’t realize until later in the week how uncertain and nervous they were with our presence that first day. I watched as Cindy and Mrs. S. tried to move things and be of assistance. Mrs. S. got tangled in some cords and fell on the front walk and I rushed to help her. I began to realize then that it was possible to read so much from her face. She looked so distraught, and angry when Cindy told her that was enough and she was going inside. Of course they appeared again later so I guess Mrs. S. got her way. But as Cindy explained to us at dinner that Thursday her mother seemed to be transformed the week of our visit. As I was painting the shed on Thursday and I came around the corner to see Mrs. S. roller in hand, painting the far side of the shed, it just filled my heart with joy. She looked so happy at that moment and she was so pleased with herself to be helping. At least for an afternoon I felt like some of her struggles didn’t weigh so heavy on her shoulders. That night at dinner I was fortunate enough to sit beside Mrs. S. We had a wonderful evening together without speaking a word. She is a remarkable woman to have raised three children without ever hearing their cries and laughter. I feel so blessed to have met her and to have shared at least a few days of her life with her.

God was with us in so many ways that week in Mississippi. He showed the amazing goodness in the people like Susan, Ed, Joeline and the others who worked day in and day out to make a difference with all those who needed help and to coordinate groups like ours. From Mary who drove us around that first Monday to see the devastation, to those who prepared the wonderful meal for us on Wednesday and finally the cleaning lady who I chatted with on Friday. They all expressed how blessed they are and I realized that my life will never be quite the same since I have met them. We had an amazing group representing us from First Presbyterian of Pottstown. It was an honor to share the week with each and every one of those who went. I hope many of us will get to go back again. We all know there is much to be done.


Marcia Zeigler

Changing the World?

When our church first started discussing sending a group of people down to help, I personally could not put my hand higher in the air farther. What was also amazing was the fact that Lisa stood right behind me, and said "You need to do this". I will never forget the feeling leading up to February 12 that I had in me....I thought that our team was going down there to change the world. I had no idea that the trip would have so much impact on me, and that in the end, I would be the one who was changed by this experience.

A few unforgettable memories:

1. Apart from the "little" snow storm, every little detail snapped together. Logistically speaking, the entire week flowed so smoothly. That included the folks who are running Gautier Presbyterian Church, to our crew of leaders. What an awesome job!
2. I never expected to get so close to the families that we helped out. What a joy it was to see us build relationships. Yeah, their homes needed healing, but so did their hearts. It was such an overwhelming feeling to offer our shoulders, and let them know we were also there to lean on for emotional support.
3. To this day, I still think about the families - especially Norman & Rachel Patterson. I think about Norman, and his struggles with bone cancer. He soon will be resting in peace, his pain all gone...I am just glad that Ken and I had the opportunity to be a part of his life, and to bring some joy in his life....the sound of his voice saying in a southern accent "well, that didn't sound good" when the brand new counter top cracked while trying to fit it in place...priceless, totally priceless.
4. The devastation...jaw dropping...breath taking. I sure hope that we don't forget about the conditions people are still trying to survive in, and just how fortunate we are here in Pa.

I want to personally thank everyone for being a part of this. I miss being there...I miss sharing those days with you...believe it or not, but I miss sleeping on the floor...I miss going to Lowes 5 or 6 times a day...I miss the people who have crossed our paths. Although we didn't change the world, we did change the lives of 4 families...all for the good. Be proud of yourself, I know GOD is proud of you.

John Livezey

My Favorite Mississippi Moments (in Chronological Order)

Beginning the adventure by carpooling to the airport with my eventual bunkmates - John Livezey and Gary James
This is one of the few times that I, a notoriously cranky driver when I'm going less than five miles OVER THE SPEED LIMIT, can remember smiling in spite of bumper to bumper traffic from Oaks to the airport.

My first day at the Swearingen's
Late in the day I stood up from cutting insulation and came face to face with Aileen Swearingen, who has been deaf most of her life. I made a broad wave around the house, in effect asking her what she thought of our progress. Aileen smiled and reached out with one hand to stroke my arm. With the other hand she emphatically made the universal symbol for OK. No words were needed. I felt proud that we had her approval.

The indomitable spirit of Ellen Lee and Marcella Upton
How does one have so much joy for life after their world was literally turned upside down by Katrina? Both Ellen and Marcella were a delight as they recounted stories of their lives and of surviving the storm and its aftermath.

Mission accomplished…almost!
I had my doubts that we would be able to remove all of the old drywall from the high, cathedral ceiling of Ellen and Marcella's studio so I felt great satisfaction as I stood precariously on a 2x10 between two ladders and tore down the final highest section…only to come face to face with a scared raccoon sitting on top of the last piece of drywall. That piece remained in place - and the raccoon was still there when we left!

Breaking bread
Sharing a table with Ellen and Marcella, Aileen Swearingen and Cindy and Mike Shaper at Thursday night's dinner was a joy. The laughter and conversation was wonderful. I will always feel a special bond with all of them.

Marlene Wrigley's Thursday Night Devotions
The scriptures Marlene chose and her quiet reading of them touched my heart.

The most exciting backgammon game ever!
The match between “the Master”, Barb Albright, and “the Rookie”, Mike Cihlar went down to the last move with a surprising win by the Rookie…I was on the edge of my seat!

Building bunk beds with Chris MacDonald, Dave Weller and John Livezey
I laughed (AND SWEATED) all day!

The road trip
The trip to the waterfront (and to the watering hole) with John and Chris MacDonald, John Livezey and Gary James was definitely a favorite moment!

Dinner at McElroy's on the Bayou
Good food, good drink, good friends!

I miss you guys!

Barb Longstreth's Meditation

From the 1st Presbyterian Mission Trip to the Mississippi Gulf Coast
2/13-2/18/06

As a 69 year old woman I had doubts about my ability to be of real help to our mission team in Mississippi, and I went on the trip with those questions in my heart and mind. What could I really DO? Would I get in the way of others? Was I too old to be of use? I didn’t have carpentry, or electrical, or plumbing skills---so I wasn’t sure what my role would be.

Well---I am here to tell all of you senior citizens in our congregation that each of us has a central role to play in the overwhelming disaster that Hurricane Katrina brought to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Don’t hesitate to go on the next trip because of your age because people of every age and gender are needed to bring hope and help to that region of the country.

Imagine with me a street in Pottstown, the length and breadth of Evans St., where every house has a small FEMA trailer outside of it---families living there because their homes are uninhabitable. Then add all of metropolitan Philadelphia and beyond, and you can get an idea of the scope of the problem. Because of the massive flooding each house must be stripped down to its wood frame, and rebuilt from the inside out.

We were able to be of partial help to several families during the week, and with my limited skills I could help by:

• Removing moldy dry wall and insulation and carrying it to a growing pile outside the house.
• General sweeping and clearing of accumulated trash.
• Installing insulation.
• Spackling newly installed dry wall.
• Helping to paint a shed.
• And most of all listening to the stories of the people we met during the week.

Another major discovery for me was to witness the number of faith communities that are streaming in and out of the Gulf region. On every plane and in every airport, we either saw and spoke with faith groups that were traveling to and from the region, or we spoke with other people who were going to make contacts to bring groups in the near future.

Our own national church, through its Presbyterian Disaster Assistance arm, has established 5 villages, or camps, along the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. Amy and I went to see one of the camps that houses 74 people at a time in portable Quonset type huts. These camps will be dismantled in June, which is the start of the hurricane season. But the Presbyterian church is committed to re-establishing these camps for the number of years it will take to rebuild the region.

In our travels we noticed that there were not many children to be seen---and that view was corroborated by a local person, Fred, who had some astounding statistics to share with us. Biloxi school district: 6000 students before Katrina and 3000 students after. I talked with a young man on the plane coming home, a sophomore at Central Bucks East High School. He took the week off to travel with another Presbyterian group. He showed me pictures on his laptop of an elementary school untouched since Katrina---smelly, moldy, trash everywhere, and a display on the bulletin board in one classroom showing the date Katrina hit, Sept. 29, 2005. The school has been abandoned.

We had a wonderfully diverse group travel to Mississippi, and in our common experience we felt the power of the Holy Spirit at work in our relationships with one another and with the new friends we met along the way.

I am thankful to God for nudging me to respond to His call to this service. We thank you for your prayers and contributions towards this first trip. We will be going again, and hope that others of you will join us in bringing God’s love in action to people in need.

The steady stream of faith based groups is making a real difference person to person and house to house.

Thanks be to God.

Barbara Longstreth

Meditation on Grace - 2/26/06

Meditation on Grace
Given February 26, 2006


Last year, on August 29th, Hurricane Katrina aimed herself at the Gulfcoast. Millions of people from Texas to Florida restlessly watched, worried, and prepared to either stay or go, as Meteorologists and forecasters struggled to provide landfall predictions. Countless others sat as spectators entranced, watching the weather bulletins stream across the bottoms of their TV screens, perhaps occasionally switched over to The Weather Channel to see and hear the live reports.

I remember thinking to myself at the time:

· Where is it going to hit?
· Who was going to be most affected?
· How bad is this really going to be? After all, storms like this have been predicted before only to fizzle out into a tropical depression!

The rains came first, followed by the winds, and then the seas. In the Gulfport Mississippi area, a huge storm surge came ashore, unstoppable, indiscriminant. The waves, measuring in some areas up to 28 feet deep, swept ashore... Nothing in its path was spared; nothing was left unchanged!

About 2 weeks ago, We arrived in Gulfport/Biloxi.
Just getting to Mississippi was remarkable.
Everyone managed to get safely to the airport after a significant snow storm just a day before
All on the same flight
All with our luggage

On the way to Gautier Presbyterian church where we were staying, we traveled down a coastal highway (Highway 90) through Gulfport Mississippi; it was on this drive that we first witnessed, what can only be described as obliteration.

On the corner of Highway 90 and 24th Avenue we stopped, got out of our vans and with mouths open in amazement walked into the First Presbyterian Church of Gulfport Mississippi:

The brick walls were broken
The pews, hymnals and bibles washed away
Up front, golden organ pipes barely holding onto the wall behind the place where the alter once stood.
Strewn all around was rubble.
But in back was a high choir loft, unclaimed by the waters, its white railing still gleamed before the broken windows

I kept looking back as if waiting as if hearing a plea.

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the Light
Take my hand, precious Lord
Lead me home.

We all looked at each other, heads shaking, and said... I never expected this!

We were up early the first morning, gathering our tools, loading vans, cleaning up spilled coffee; (we hadn’t fully figured out how to outwit the coffee machine yet) We then gathered arm in arm in a circle for a prayer. The purpose of our mission was about to begin.

Although we didn’t say the words that day, it was Serving Grace that lead us there.

· It was Serving Grace that lead Kerry and Carter to contact Gautier Presbyterian church asking.. How can we help?
· It was Serving Grace that led so many bake cookies, cakes, brownies, and to provide a literal truckload of snacks.
· It was Serving Grace from the many that donated money toward the significant expenses of this trip.
· The phone lists, the tetanus shots, the coordination of getting together all of the tools and talents...That was Serving Grace.
· I was Serving Grace when I saw familiar handwriting on the lovely prepared Valentine bags we all received.
· It was Serving Grace by those that said.. Yes I’ll go... I want to help

About 15 of us went to the Rivera house, It was there that 58 year old Maggie Rivera stepped out of her 30 foot FEMA trailer to welcome us but only after her 7 teacup poodles ran out to the fence to bark out their greeting. Mrs. Rivera lead us into her house, a big house, set up about 8-10 feet off of the ground with a wrap around porch, just feet from a bayou.

She talked as she showed us around.
· She talked of evacuating north to a friends house just prior to the storm.
· of moving her husband’s (Napoleon) tools, and other valuables, upstairs for safe keeping because… in past storms they had never had any flooding problem... they’d be safe there.
· of coming home after the storm and seeing all of the years of work and memories washed over.
· She talked of living in a tent until December, and told us of her gratitude to that a gentleman from the Red Cross came to help after one night when her tent blew over in a storm.
· She said’ I didn’t know what to do!
· She talked of going through 10 gallons of Clorox bleach trying to clean up the mess, only to have people tell her ‘the only way to take care of this is to rip it all out’!
· She told us of her gratitude for our church and all of the other churches for sending out people to help.. She said “without them I don’t know what we would have done”

Although she didn’t say the words that day, it was Sustaining Grace Mrs. Rivera was talking about.

· After water and food, the most commonly requested item from those displace by Katrina was a Bible. That’s Sustaining Grace
· It was Sustaining Grace that lead a woman to respond to Presbyterian Disaster helpers saying “I’m too blessed to be distressed”
· It is Sustaining Grace when with eye’s welling up we heard “We the don’t know what we would ever have done without the Church People”
Time doesn’t allow for a full recounting of all the good that was done by our church while down in Mississippi. There are so many stories to be told, ask anyone that went, I‘m sure that any of us would love to share their story.
I will tell you that we sanded a lot! then we sneezed a lot
We laid on buckets of joint compound, and then sanded some more and then we sneezed a lot.
We ate a lot
Laughed a lot
Some of us were attacked by terrorist bugs, while others where startled by a raccoon “with an attitude” hiding above a ceiling that was being torn down.
A termite damaged shed was rebuild
One whole house was completely gutted, stripped of moldy drywall, re-wired, re-insulated and re-dry walled.

Throughout the week we felt God uplift us through his Serving grace the grace that Jesus showed us to live. We saw act of generosity and giving... giving without expectation. We also saw Gods Sustaining grace, a grace given at special times of need, especially during adversity or suffering. A grace of uplifting and support.

Serving grace…. Sustaining grace…
“Perhaps some of these distinctions are a bit arbitrary, but the point remains that grace is manifested in a variety of ways. Grace seeks us and saves us; grace keeps us secure; grace enables us to serve and to endure the tests and trials of life. Grace will bring about our sanctification in this life and will ultimately bring us to glory.”
We know now more than ever that from beginning to end we are the object of God s divine grace.
We left for Mississippi to help, There went up a plea, and God was there, and God filled us with his manifold grace.

Dear Gulf Coast Friends...

I've been trying for the last two weeks to find a way to put my thoughts down and finally came to the conclusion that "talking" via this letter to Mrs. Swearingen was the only way. John MacDonald said on Sunday, "My mind has just been in another place this week." What a true statement. This letter, I think, begins to define where my mind has been.

I heard another true statement on Sunday, this one from Kevin Bittle: "I miss all you guys." I want you all to know that I treasure the time I spent with you in Gautier and wish every human being could have a similar experience. Mike and I are so thankful to the church and to God for giving us a chance to lend a (small) hand in Mississippi.


March 2, 2006

I truly hope this letter arrives to find you well and that the cold spell you were in the midst of during our visit has broken. Despite the 12-18 inches of snow that fell here the second week of February, the ground has been clear and the crocuses have been rising in expectation of Spring…until today. This morning we had some snow and icy roads as a result of Winter’s last gasp. I wouldn’t be surprised if she blew out one more snowstorm yet to remind us that March still belongs to her, whether Spring tries to show her face early or not!

It’s not yet been two weeks since we left Gautier for home, but it feels like it could have been a year ago. The moment we left Mississippi I knew that things would not ever be the same for me, nor for any other member of our group. What I never could have guessed is that I would have such a difficult time expressing my thoughts on our work, the people we met, my faith, my life now as I know it. Words have always come easy to me on paper; especially when I was young, I would write poems, letters, journal entries about my feelings, my family, and my friends. Mom, I think, secretly wanted me to be a writer rather than an architect!

Now I feel almost as though the writing portion of my brain has been crippled. I have too many feelings, too many thoughts to process. I began writing a short reflection on faith but the words in my mind would not form themselves into coherent sentences on paper. What I think is that despite the overwhelming emotions and memories I brought home with me, my mind is telling me that they are nothing: insignificant compared to those you all have lived through since Katrina came to the Gulf Coast. Who am I to cry for myself, so far away from the destruction that you and your loved ones face on a daily basis?

But, I have cried, tears of many sizes and colors. I’ve cried for joy of the friendships I made in Gautier, for the wonderful people who shared their lives and stories with us. For sadness at the uncertainty of whether our paths will ever cross again. For worry over what will happen to you now, how long it will be before you can move back “home,” and find some sense of normalcy. For the desire of wanting to do more, work more, help more. For loneliness for the fellowship of my work companions, who have hearts of gold and welcomed me as a friend. For disappointment over how little work can be accomplished in a single week’s time. For the frustration of being unsuccessful at adequately expressing to the people here how desperately our help is needed. For gratitude for being able to contribute to the rebuilding efforts. For the complete sense of peace and faith I felt in Gautier, which I wonder if I will ever feel again.

It’s true that too many of us rely on the news to tell us what is happening in the world. And it’s true that when the cameras stop rolling, in favor of a flashier headline, the previous scene is forgotten. I am guilty of it myself, only having heard rumors before our trip to hint at the real conditions we would face but not truly believing it until it was right in front of my eyes. I do believe, however, that people are inherently good, and they want to help others in need. If Katrina had hit New Jersey rather than Mississippi or Louisiana, I am sure that there would be tent cities stretching from Delaware to the Poconos, full of volunteers of every age, profession, and religious affiliation. The Gulf Coast is so far away, especially for those who have never seen it. But I can feel it in my heart, as though a small piece of me is tied on a string that stretches out for miles and miles and miles. It stretches so far I feel as though it’s on the other side of the earth.

Most people need volunteer opportunities to be dropped in their laps. Again, I am guilty of this myself. I knew I wanted to travel down south to help with the rebuilding efforts. But I didn’t know how to get there, whom to go with, how to go about organizing a trip. I was caught up enough in my own busy life that I probably would have never searched out an opportunity on my own. Then one day my parents said to Mike and me, “We might be going to Mississippi with a group from the church.” It took me one day to get over how I could take off from work, how we would get to Mississippi, what I could even do to help, and what we would do with our dogs while we were away. Surely, this was a chance to help that could not be passed up. And I thank God for “dropping” that opportunity in my lap. Undoubtedly, it was a trip that far surpassed my expectations in so many ways.

In Gautier, I learned some unforgettable lessons about people. I learned that tragedy, no matter how horrific, can pull a community together into a force as strong as any hurricane. Those who may never have spoken to one another under previous circumstances suddenly are drawn together to clean, to build, to pray, and to survive. Those who have lost everything are still willing to give what they have to others in need. Those who face even the direst of situations are still able to hold strong to their faith in God and trust in people. Those whose homes have been destroyed and families have been scattered are still able to say with absolute conviction, “I am blessed.” What I’d like to express to you and all of the folks of Gautier is, truly, I am blessed, for having met you.

I returned from Mississippi with a torrent of emotions in my mind. The first week home was the most difficult, as I went to my job every day wondering to myself, “What is the point? How is this work actually helping people? In the grand scheme of things, why does this really matter?” I showed pictures and mumbled about devastation, sadness, determination, wonder, inspiration, and faith to my coworkers. They nodded, expressed admiration for our efforts, and wished out loud that they could go themselves. It disappointed me to know that it was unlikely any of them ever would go themselves. And at the same time, I was frustrated to know that I couldn’t get back soon enough.

What I have found, more with each passing day, is a reservoir of peace, sunk down below the emotional torrent. As my emotions settle, the peace grows greater and brighter in my soul. This peace is both a voice and a beacon to me. The voice of peace has resigned me to the realization that I cannot return to Mississippi tomorrow. But the beacon of peace urges me on to keep trying, and to convince others to go as well. The voice of peace admits that the work I do on a daily basis may not directly help any single individual or family in need. But the beacon of peace encourages me to use the knowledge I gain from my work to find other ways to help. The voice of peace acknowledges that all of our lives are hectic and stressful, but the beacon assures me that I can overcome the everyday chaos to enjoy more time spent with loved ones. The voice reminds me that I have been blessed in many ways, and the beacon reinforces that the greatest of these blessings are life, health, and family (that, of course, includes dogs!).

I know that you and your family have been blessed, with each other, with the ability to survive and rebuild, and with faith. I also know that you may face more challenges in the coming months, despite how far you have already come. So when you’re feeling overwhelmed, or tired, or frustrated, remember your friends from Pennsylvania, knowing that we are praying for you and for the opportunity to return to Mississippi to continue our work. Imagine that through our thoughts and prayers, we are holding your hands and holding you up as you continue to make your way.

May God’s love be with you and may He continue to bless you each and every day.